Life Of A Jasper

我依然爱你。

2011-12-21T00:29:00.002+04:00

我依然爱你，过了那么多年依然爱你。
可是我真的没办法一直等下去。
我只好转头离开。

treasure the 1 second

2011-11-28T22:45:00.000+04:00

Seconds Of Beauty - 1st round compilation from The Beauty Of A Second on Vimeo.

做我女人。

2011-11-28T21:31:00.001+04:00

女孩子要的是“我来接你”，不是“我来接你好吗”；要的是“去看电影吧”，不是“去看电影吗”；要的是“买了”，不是“想要么”；要的是“嫁给我”，不是“嫁给我好吗”；不要一直问问问，尊重、关爱不在这儿，记住，你要做的是她的答案！

不会了解

2011-11-26T21:55:00.001+04:00

有很多事，除非亲自体验，否则是不会了解的…别为世上的传言所惑，试着自己判断，寻找将来的出路，让自己决定自己的未来…《可能有些人会批评你将上班的公司不好，但他们根本都没在里面做过，又怎么知道好不好呢？只是到处听些传言就否定了这间公司，太不公平了。》

天空

2011-11-26T21:52:00.001+04:00

一樣的天空下，有著許多不同的世界，

不要以自己的世界去衡量他人的天空。

生病了。

2011-11-26T20:23:00.002+04:00

我生病了，本以为可以自己照顾好自己，
可是病到头晕晕的，又想吐，头又痛……总之好不舒服就是了。
原来，人病了是需要其他人来照顾的。
那我以后的日子怎么办？

放心，我不会离开你。

2011-11-26T15:17:00.001+04:00

他在一個高層上班，她在他對面的窗戶裏辦公，他們隔著一條街。
她天天偷偷看著他，預測著他的快樂、憂傷，寫在微博上。
他應該不知道吧，由於她總是很小心。
某天他突然消失了。
心裏一空。
發了新微博：“他走了，我想他，他不知道。”
當即彈出一條新評論：“傻丫頭，我搬到上面那層了。”

我们分手吧！

2011-11-05T09:16:00.005+04:00

至：我曾经爱的女孩，曾经爱我的女孩。

今天我要放手了，我要忘记，要将我们的记忆从脑海里删除。

将我们的旧照片删除了，因为我要放胆去爱其他人。

不管我曾经爱你多久，不管我以前爱你多深，

我想了一整晚，是时候我忘记你们。

今晚我终于哭了，让一切伤心，悲哀，忧愁跟随泪水落地。

以前就算我一个人寂寞，我还有你们的回忆陪我。

以后我真的单身了，不会在怀念着曾经的快乐。

我会试着习惯一个人过，我觉得这样也不错。

不管是你的错，还是我的错，

不管分手是什么原因，

不管原因是我会信息太短，还是我太幼稚，

不管是你说分手，还是我说分手，

我们之间就到这里，你不欠我，我也不欠你。

对你们下过的承诺，我通通反悔，

要怪就怪我吧，是我没遵守承诺。

以前的甜美回忆，我不要了，

我要在未来寻找属于我和她的甜美回忆。

心里话。

2011-11-04T04:20:00.003+04:00

心里好像有好多话要讲，可是开不了口。

适着要把它写下来，可是我瞪着银幕久久动不了笔。

（三十分钟过后）我要动笔了。

我还是去睡觉好了。

心情有点怪怪的。

为什么？

2011-10-22T22:40:00.001+04:00

为什么我们哭的时候是流泪，而不是流口水？

因为上天要我们用泪水把眼睛洗干净，将一切看清楚。

Need You Now.

2011-10-15T02:35:00.002+04:00

Need You Now这首歌里面，含有一句对我来说很有意义的话。

就是这句

“Guess I'd rather hurt

Than feel nothing at all”

刚听到这首歌时，莫名其妙的爱上这首歌。

两个月后，仔细的听这首歌的内容，就发现了这一句

“Guess I'd rather hurt

Than feel nothing at all”

我谈过太多次恋爱了，很多人都会说“那有什么不好？”

当你失去谈恋爱的意义，那时候你就会知道有多可怕。

就连分手也分到麻木了，泪水不再是分手后的情景。

因为我知道只要我肯，不须三天我就能找一个人代替她。

我宁愿自己可以感受到分手后遗症，不吃不喝的为一个人伤心，

关在房间里，大哭一场，然后睡着。

我真的很希望我可以。

我不想因为习惯，而令到我对未来的感情没兴趣。

我想很有期待性的去追求一个女孩，

然后好好跟她到老，

就算病了进医院也要一起。

可是上天往往有自己的方法来戏弄你觉得最珍贵的东西。

本来只想谈一次恋爱就结婚的我，也搞到今天这个地步了。

床底下的照片。

2011-10-14T00:13:00.002+04:00

最近在床底下挂了好多以前的照片。

照片当中有家人的照片，好朋友的照片，前女友的照片，朋友的照片。

如果‘想念’是动词，想念就是我办不到的‘动作’。

朋友常问我：想家吗？

如果他们没时时问我，我看我也不记得我有家。

看到A朋友在FB告诉B朋友A有多想他，

我才努力的去想念一个朋友。

前女友更不用说啦，完全不存在。

我唯一会想念的人，就是我在这时候爱上的女孩。

不管她是谁，如果我爱上一个女孩，我会想念的人只有她。

努力特地去想念一个人，是一个真心的动作吗？

无所事事就翻开电话簿，一个一个名字慢慢的看。

然后在信息里打了“突然想到你，最近好吗？”之类的内容，

从电话簿当中选一个名字，发信息给他。

所以这些照片挂在床底下就是为了让我‘想念’

让我想念家人，和他们为我的付出。

（我和我哥一年应该没讲超过一百句话吧？！）

（我一年见我姐不超过十天吧？！）

所以这些照片挂在床底下就是为了让我‘想念’

让我想起前女友，他们跟我分手的原因。

（我要的是一个男朋友，不是木头。）

（我觉得你太幼稚了。）

今天的我进步了，不再是你们以前那个无知的男朋友，

我不再是个木头，等你们开始话题；

现在我是个开心果，在我身边的朋友都能感受到欢喜。

我不再幼稚，让自己变得更成熟，更能干，更可靠。

如果今天有个女孩因为我的改变而爱上我，我要感谢的是你们。

所以这些照片挂在床底下就是为了让我‘想念’

想念曾经是最关心我的朋友。

朋友，如果他们没上网来找我谈天，或没信息向我问好，

在我心里你们是不存在的。对不起。

本以为，床底下的照片，可以让我更想念家人，更不会忘记我以前对爱情的单纯，也不会假心假意的想念我的朋友。

可是每当抬头看这些照片时，我还是一样想也不会想到他们，就好像那些照片完全不存在。

家人的照片依然留着，好朋友的也还在，前女友的我还是拿下来好了。给人家看到不是很好。

每个人都有自己的缺点，这就是我小小的缺点……重色轻友。

= )

她要结婚了，雪莉要结婚了。

2011-10-09T21:05:00.002+04:00

今早八点起床，眼睛还没能完全睁开就走向厕所去洗澡。

穿好衣服，收拾好书包，准备好出门。

看看手表，还有二十分钟，

才发现原来我提早起床了。

一如往常的，我坐在书桌前，面着电脑，

把FB网页翻了再翻，没有新发现。

突然在聊天室里发现了“新宗族” 她就是雪莉。

我通常都不会在聊天室里遇到她。

自从那一天，我们没在碰面，只通过一次电话，也只在FB遇到她一次。

这是第二次。

都快五年来，我们已近好久没见面了。

今天在FB遇到她，她说她要结婚了。

“要记得把请帖送到我这里来哦！”

‘你几时有放假？’

“一月有放假。”

“那你几时结婚？” 我继续问她。

‘下个月。’

‘我很想请你来我的婚礼。’ 她再加一句。

就这样让我一整天都在想这个问题，

如果我真的有空，该不该去她的婚礼？

如果我其她前女友请我到他们的婚礼，我该不该去？

到了晚上我还没想出一个答案。

也懒得想了，就希望她们在这三年里快点结婚，反正我离她们几千公里，没有人会想要请我吧。

一个又交往了，一个要结婚了，一个有自己的心上人了，

而我依然单身。

不要觉得对不起我，只要你们找到一个比我更好的男人，

我会祝福你们。

新婚快乐。

2005-2011年的故事　Part 9: 回忆的碎片。

2011-04-27T03:16:00.003+04:00

我喜欢微笑,大笑和狂笑,当然是要看情况啦!因为我觉得笑是最好表达的,没有复杂的语言和动作,只需要稍微

拉高你的嘴角就行了…对方一定可以感受到的…就算没有别人,心情不好时对镜子微笑,我觉得心情会好一点,你试过了吗?

你还记得吗？

翻过百多页的回忆，我把这一些碎片抄下来，因为我不想忘记它们。

-------------------------------------------------

Oct 11 2007, 06:36 AM

-content unavailable-

已经变成Iphone的广告了。

January 8th, 2008 at 10:03 am

我超喜欢下雨！！！

xxxx-x said...

i think no one ll pray like u la... just study hard and den relax, if u got really do ur best, den God ll help u to do the rest... just believe in God and do ur best la!!! All the best 4u...

January 24, 2008 9:44 PM

Mar 07 2008, 11:31 AM

oral b... i miss u hehe

10/03/2008 8:12 am

so good le u, go Russia dy dunno ppl liao ho.... i msg u through vhotmail, also dun wan to reply me ho....

how ur life there?

xxxx-x said...

just wonder wat is Kululu leh...???

March 21, 2008 6:44 AM

xxxx-x said

i agree with wat ur fren said... Dun give up, u had experience so so many difficult time dy, maybe sometimes it is so hard to pass on, but just give it all to God, he is the only one who always there for u... i noe u can do it, maybe it is difficult to choose the path u wan, but once u choose it, dun regret, just do ur best...

March 25, 2008 6:50 PM

10/04/2008 12:12 am

i reply d... and i got sms u also... u didnt reply me

Apr 25 2008, 04:31 AM

happy birthday

Apr 25 2008, 06:25 AM

thx for ur birthday comment...!!!

all da best for ur exam and do remember to study hard lo... :)

and one more, take care of ur own health...!!!

xxxx-x said...

wow... watch three movie in a day wo... wan to show off tat u so free ho? but the incredible hulk is really so so nice le...

June 28, 2008 4:54 PM

Friday, 26 Sep, 2008 9: 14 PM <letter from XXX XXXX>

halo... how r u over there?

u said can still contact u wen u go russia le, but never c u on9 le, never c u in msn chatroom, never c ur msg in friendster or hotmail. so busy there?

there ppl there nice anot o? got ppl bully u anot? can understand wat the lecturer talk? they talk in wat language o?

if free, pls reply my msg le.

me so fine here, got listen to ur advice le, study more and talk with God everyday le...

wish u all da best over there lo....

lastly, hope u c ur reply lo....

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 04:34:24 +0800 <RE: letter from xxx xxxx....>‏

hello lil girl... sorry oh becuse i dont have internet yet so cant online but now i have aleady la so can repy you...

i quite busy la actually busy adapting and getting know all the road as my class will be all over in moscow city.

but this few days i am free already la.

people ah... some nice some not lo cos mostly they dont understand english so hard to talk.

no people bully me la only i bully people... haha... class didnt start yet will start on 1st october.

you so good girl ah.. study hard lo... and pray hard and often... god is with us.

how are you and your bf lately? never her about 2 of you also... hehe...

take care ya my lil girl... love you... muax

Sunday, 5 Oct, 2008 2: 18 PM

hehe... just realize tat u got reply my msg le, i tot u so bad, din reply me le... hehe......

oo, the phone msg is from u o? i dunno ma, never c the no. so long be4 de, hehe...

now start class dy lo, how is it? i think the lecturer english also hard to understand le, is it?

how the weather there? u got take photo of the moscow city? if got, send to me le, so curious le... hehe...

Date: Sat, 1 Nov 2008 23:26:37 +0800

how is ur life over there ? study ok ma ? got any problem ma ?

and the most important question is got miss me ma ?

haha

i miss you a lot leh... so hope can go back and see you now ...

you must take care oh...

autum here is very pretty oh hehe.... winter coming soon

so next blog will be about winter gua haha

take care love you my lil girl...

Sunday, 2 Nov, 2008 10: 57 AM <kong seng koko...>‏

haha... den wish u all da best lo...

me now is exam month le, after that is holiday lo.. hehe..

study o... quite ok le, but need to wait till exam only noe ok anot le, haiz.. coz sometimes i tot i understand da topic, but after the lecturer gives us question, den dunno how to do also le.. hehe...

how bout u? can understand wat the lecturer talking bout? or dunno wat the lecturer teach den sleep in class again o? hehe...

miss u o... sure miss u den only go visit ur blog and leave a msg le, haha...

next time wen winter, ,u must post many many photo le... By the way, u buy clothes fot the coming winter dy? hehe...

i wan continue study lo, so stop here first le... bye!

Jan 03 2009, 01:31 AM

halo... how r u there?

me so fine at here le.. haha...

my new semester start dy le, dis sem din take part in any activities le, so quite boring de... haiz... but i think few weeks later will be a bit busy le coz need to involve in a function le... wow... u there winter now le, sure so cold le, take k lo... :)

Dec 31 2008, 09:40 PM

BB how are u

----------------------------------------------

回忆，是真的还是假的？

有时我们自己都怀疑自己。

就因为读书读到闷了，所以我花了一点时间，

把我的回忆收集在这篇文章里。

我告诉人家说，虽然当时我有女朋友，

可是我还是会一个礼拜去看看她的Friendster一次，

我承认我放不下。

过后Friendster不出名了，就看看Facebook。一直到今天。

可能大家都不记得，可是Friendster会告诉你谁看了你的质料。

可能她也不常注意我每个礼拜的到来，

也可能她的注意力都放在别人身上，没发现到我。

2008年1月8日

我阅读了她的部落各。

2008年3月7日

我告诉她，“我想念你。”

2008年9月27日

我告诉她，“我爱你” + 一个吻。

当时发现她有男朋友了。

我还没放弃。

2008年11月1日

我再次告诉她，“我很想你。”

也再次告诉她，“我爱你。”

2008年12月31日

我又想她了，可是我没说，只是问候她。

2009年的回忆，我四处找，也找不到。

有两个可能性，第一我们都不玩Friendster了。

第二当我们都转用Facebook，我没Add到她。

也可能换了电话号码。

也可能回忆全在旧电脑里。

可是我还是会回到FriendsteR看看她一直没改变的质料。

2010年开始我们通电话了，一开始发短讯给对方，一直到今天。

数一数我到底喜欢了这位女孩子多少年？

我也懒得数了，我只能说，好久好久。

说等，我也等了好多年，再等多三年我也没问题。

2005-2011年的故事　Part 8: 今天。

2011-04-24T14:49:00.003+04:00

今天……是2011年4月24日。
今天……天气晴朗，
今天……我心情好好，
今天……我赖床，
今天……是她的生日。

今天，2011年4月24日。
我继续我的减肥计划，到楼下去跑步。
跑累了，在附近的公园散步，透透气。
在公园的一个角落，我看到了它。
它身高刚刚好到我的屁股，而且看起来很稳固……
所以我就打算坐上去，荡一荡……
好久没遇到那么高的秋千了，坐上去脚踏不到地上，有一种回到童年的感觉。
而且是用铁钢做的，支撑得到过80公斤的我。

坐上去荡了荡，原来我还是把童年的感觉忘掉会比较好。
长大了，身体也大只了，坐在两只铁棍中间都觉得不舒服。

好想念小时候矮小灵活的自己，
秋千不是用屁股坐的，是用脚踩上去荡的。
跷跷板也一样，骑脚车不需要手，还有好多好多好好玩的游戏。

慢步离开公园时，遇到一对老夫妇，牵着手坐在公园里，
老婆婆拿着两只拐杖，老公公也有一只……
当真心爱上一个人时，我会想象我和她白着头发在公园里散步。
因为真的想和她一生都在一起，所以难免会跨时代的想象。
我会好好照顾身体，当我们都老了，我一定要比她健康，我不会让她辛苦照顾病痛的我……
到了六十岁，我还想为她下厨；
六十一岁，还想为她煲糖水；
六十二岁，还想当她的司机；
六十三岁，还想为她按摩疼痛的身体；
七十岁，还想牵着她的手在公园散步。
让年轻一代知道什么叫真爱。

今天又想童年又想变老……真的好矛盾。
童年你我都回不去啦……只好渴望着那个陪我白头到老的她 =P

To My Dearest...

2010-12-30T21:18:00.000+03:00

Charisse Sor

2010-12-30T06:52:00.004+03:00

halo halo Charisse Sor, welcome to the world... hehe...

born on 29th december... 3.32pm... Uncle cant wait to see u next year... you faster grow up and grow fat fat ok... den let uncle pinch your chubby face... hehe... you must grow up to be a good girl oh... if not... hehehe... grandma will cane you... with hanger... haha... run as fast as u can if u dont want to get cane...
well when you grow up, you better learn your kemahiran hidup properly... because you mami might inherit grandma gene... they like to cut TV line... so, if they cut you can fix it your self lo.. if grandma keep the TV antenna away, remember that any metal that conduct electricity can be use as antenna. haha.

WELCOME OUR LITTLE PRINCESS.

From,
Uncle Jasper

半年的故事。part2

2010-12-24T09:17:00.003+03:00

part2 就从半年前开始讲吧……

今年大三，我和一般朋友都不住宿舍了。
我们都搬到外面的apartment住了。
当然住外面有很多自由，可是有时还蛮想念住宿舍的生活。
住得高兴不高兴？
这问题我答不到……哈哈
因为我就好像没有感情的人了，说真的……
有些事情发生，令我觉得这世界发生的东西都跟我无关了。
我每天就只要面对我的电脑，打打字，谈谈天。

到底什么事发生呢？
就是一直这样的给一个朋友欺骗，
可以说是一个很好的朋友……
所以，到今天我也不在乎了。
别人的事，跟我无关。
剩下的只有我的家人，还有我的Bibi……他们就是对我很重要的人。
朋友真的不重要了。

谈谈恋爱………单身一年了。
哈哈。这话题没什么好谈的。
skip

谈谈家人……
家里可以算有钱了吧。
而且再加上我的助学金，我真的变财神爷了。
哥哥的事业也快稳定了；
姐姐嫁人了，而且还是个有钱又有学问的男人。
妈妈教补习，越教越多学生……
爸爸的生意越做越好……钱也越来越多。
哈哈……我知道有钱不是一切，所以我也经常和家人谈天。
妈常说：你经常在外面跑来跑去，累了的话，转个身，家人就在后面等你。

姐姐就快要生孩子了，我也很期待。
想看看我的侄女有多漂亮。
哈哈……

没什么好谈了……我的生活就是这样淡淡的。
哈哈……

半年的故事。part1

2010-12-23T23:38:00.005+03:00

圣诞快乐

好久没好好坐下来打blog了。
所以这是我这半年里的故事，当然长话短说啦。

就从现在开始讲起吧……
过几天就是圣诞了，照理来说明天就是了。
我没什么计划，就只想呆在家里,对着电脑过一天。
我最大的圣诞礼物就是考试，哈哈。是的圣诞节还要去学校考试。

今天朋友们都回了马来西亚，家里剩下我还有两个大二的学生。
他们上了的士后，家里就没电了……
家里没人，又没电……我突然感到好寂寞。
可是还好隔壁家的阿婆在外面见到我时跟我聊了一阵子。
住了老半年，才知道她叫SOFIA。
哈哈……而且今天是初次见面。

大三的日子都没什么好说的啦……就是K书，K书，还有K书。
当有得休息时，时间好像过得特别快，
当K书时，世界末日迟迟都不会到来。
今年考试成绩不会说很好，原因是太多科目了……
根本就没时间好好念完。

最近日夜颠倒，不知道何时该睡何时该醒。
不是很喜欢这种生活和……哈哈。
erm.... 还有什么要讲？
明年我打算到中国去……探望我侄女。
后年我打算到香港……走一趟。
大后年……还没打算。哈哈
我这个人就是喜欢一个人东走走，西走走。
两个人有个伴更好，可是一大班人去旅行，那就免了。

讲讲我的心情……
这半年来，喜事应该比较多吧……
也可能是我聪明了，悲哀的是我都会离它们远远。
玩得开心，也过一天。
EMO，也过一天……那倒不如开心过。
我看得出来了，谁一直以来都在欺骗……

谈谈信仰……
到我家里来的CG LEADER考试作弊，然后来我家教我们怎样安排时间读书
什么狗屁道理都有，
我一句也不会听进去，因为我根本就不相信他。
APARTMENT LEADER 也没两样……
说什么上帝的计划，完完全全就是自己在骗自己……
所以你说，我该相信谁？
我不是要批评人家，我只想说……
我想走我自己的路，不管人家怎样看我。

所以虽然CG进行的地方才离我3步（就在我的房间里）我也不想参与。

累了……要去睡觉先。

Medical student with their MISERABLE life

2010-12-13T23:49:00.004+03:00

just want to say a word or 2 about medical student in Moscow...

Government say that student here are not good... not up to standard and propose that we sit for exam before we can practice in Malaysia... chances of passing is 20%
Russia having riot due to a football fan being killed (not by Malaysian)... and foreigner become the victim of the riot... and medical student here too become victim... few Malaysian medical student over here being beaten up, including girls....
We 3rd year student having exam every week... like non stop from the first month of this semester until it end...
who else want to make our life miserable ?

If i get out of Russia alive... I will live my life like i never leave before .... haha....
that's all for December... I am having a lot of exam...
If we get out of here alive, we shall fear no dead nor shall we fear what ever the government want to do to us.

3rd Year

2010-11-01T08:44:00.001+03:00

Too Busy To Even Stay Alive

3rd Year

2010-11-01T08:43:00.000+03:00

Too Busy To Blog

问问自己。

2010-10-01T00:13:00.002+04:00

我常问自己，如果我是在你病发后才认识你的话，我会不会一样的爱上你？
我的答案是会。
因为我爱上的不是你的外表，而是你的内心。
到最后，你情绪不稳定，内心也不再是你了。
我问自己，我还爱你吗？
我的答案是还爱。

HIKARI KIYOSHI

My life....

2010-09-26T12:04:00.000+04:00

My life suddenly tick a little... after so many years... finally i am moving on...

Deeper

2010-07-24T21:04:00.003+04:00

this is a nice song...I personally love the part...

Take me deeper than I've been before

Sometimes as a Christian we think that what we are doing and what we have now is enough for us.
We think that everything is fine and there is no need of any improvement or any further move for our faith.
But this song say take me deeper thar I have been before means what we have now or what ever position we are in for our faith, we can stil go deeper and improve our faith.

流浪

2010-07-19T17:38:00.001+04:00

我要停此流浪的生活，我想为你留下来。
可是你又是谁呢？
我还在寻找答案，所以我还在流浪。

Church Camp 2010

2010-07-14T08:04:00.005+04:00

Went to church camp for 3 days... from 9-11 July... Seriously, a lot of funny things happen...
we had a good laugh... spending time together, experiencing God together, knowing new member, reunited with old member.... doing crazy stuff, spend the whole night talking...

the nice view from Peace Heaven genting... really give us a relaxing time there

Group photo the normal way....

group photo with a lot of retarded faces haha...

he is 70kg man... i am really strong...

group 4 for photo hunt...

the below picture is the epic... is the best picture of all .... haha.... have a look....

Yes i realize that he is my pastor... hehe... he is not a pastor that stand on the podium or pulpit and preach. But he is a pastor that is a friend a joy and a companion to us all...
and he is crazy...

this... is speechless... haha... we call it the epilepsy dance.... hehe

all in all .... i enjoy the church camp... to the max...
even after that commenting on all the photo in facebook was fun...

没有昨天的人?

2010-07-04T20:24:00.005+04:00

昨天是什么?
当明天的到来,我会记得昨天吗?
上帝忘记给我昨天吗?
上帝在我八岁时拿走了我的昨天吗?
没有昨天又会怎样呢?
我还活着,我知道.
我曾经活着,我不记得.
慢慢的我的记忆就像流沙,
一直流走.
一切已经不重要了,
今天可能重要,明天就不重要.
明天可能还重要,几个月后就不重要了.
几个月后可能重要,几年后我可能都不知道它不重要了.
完全因为,我记不起.

HIKARI KIYOSHI
------------------------------------------------------------
一个时不时会忘记自己过去的人.
我觉得大家都不会了解,他对生活的看法.
从他的写作,看得出他很在乎他失去的过去,
也更害怕他何时会失去什么记忆.
这样好吗?

Higher Level Organism

2010-06-19T18:41:00.004+04:00

some people i once thought was beautiful is not beautiful anymore.
some thing i once thought was important is not important anymore.
because there are some One more beautiful
some thing more important than what this world may offer to me...

G.O.D

this is the ultimate level of life....

The Pastor

2010-06-15T05:00:00.002+04:00

3rd day in Malaysia I should call this day “The day with Pastor”.
Pastor called last night and asks a few of us to join him for movie
because Monday is his Sabbath day so he always uses his Sabbath to spend time with friends.

When I was in his car this morning, he told us a story that touches my heart so much.
It was just a simple story. But it was something that I was fighting for all this time.
He said he was stopped by the police after taking a wrong turn on the road.
The police asked for RM50 as a bribe.

Well as a medical student in Russia, I am not a stranger to bribing.
I was once told that even the leader bribe to get in to Spartive hostel.
And to make me sadder is, even the leaders encourage me to bribe.
But I refuse I was so close to think that it is ok to bribe for the hostel.
But God save me, God forbid it.

I was expecting something like ‘So I gave him RM50’ from my pastor’s mouth.
But that was not the answer. The answer was ‘I am a pastor, I can’t bribe you.’
This was just so touching for me,
because I know that finally there is someone who really will fight for what is right.

So today had a fun day with Pastor, watching movie and eating all over the place.

The food I eat…
1st day in Malaysia: Roast chicken wing, lamb, and pork
2nd day in Malaysia: Chicken rice, Siew Pao, Nasi goreng kambing.
3rd day in Malaysia: Dim Sum, Sup rice, dou jiang you tiao...

all are nice nice nice food....

Experience God the way He experience life.

2010-06-15T04:55:00.003+04:00

Luke 9:57-58

As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.”

Jesus replied, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests,
but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.”

Came back from Moscow this few days,
this verse let me notice how is the feeling of not having a place to lay my head.

Each and every one who came back from Moscow have their family and love one waiting
for them at the air port.
When they reach Malaysia they have a feeling that they belong here,
they feel comfortable around their family members.

But as for me,
I was sitting in the KLIA transit and not knowing whose house am I going to that afternoon.
I just want to take a bath and go Church, but I don’t know where to take bath.
(But lastly I found a brother who borrow me his bathroom)

At night I have to over night at my pastor’s house and have my dinner there.
Really big thanks to my pastor for providing me with a place to sleep and eat.

The next day after prayer meeting, I found no place to go again.
I end up in Zi Hui’s house on her sofa watching TV and typing my blog and my nap.
After dinner, I am here now in Leng Jie house spending my night here.

Most of you who have your family member waiting at the airport for you,
you won’t experience what I experience.
The feeling of not belonging to any where or to anyone.
Feeling unsafe when ever friends around you seem to be going their own way.

Same to Jesus too, He spends His life traveling and spreading the Good news.
How often can He go back to the comfort of His family and how often can He feel that he
belong to a place or a group of friends.

Of course the feeling of fear will sets in. I felt that I am weak when I am alone,
with a 40kg of luggage with me… I felt strength less to carry it.

Before I end, I just want to thank God for accompanying me thru out my journey,
I know He is there watching over me as I drag my heavy bags into the train down the
stairs and into the taxi. I know He is watching over me.

I was talking to this little girl...

2010-06-13T14:37:00.002+04:00

Yesterday after church service i was talking to this little girl... erm... no no...
it was this little girl came to talk to me...

she asked me "what is your name?"

it didn't cross my mind that 1 day i will talk to her or any of them... i have no idea why also.
for the past few years in church i never talk to her or any of them.
When i say them i am referring to the Open Hand girls.
they are Indian girls who might have broken family or bad family back ground... so a pastor in my church is taking care of them in his Open Hand center.
so basically they are attending my church in KL.

so back to the story about this girl...
she actually make me realize that i have not been doing my serving to God so well..
I always say i want to open a Orphanage to help the needy child,
but what God place in front of me, i ignored it.

Deuteronomy 15:11
¹¹ There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land.

so... at first i plan to go back to kelantan on Monday, but this morning (Sunday) when i was in church for prayer meeting, pastor said he need help in bringing the Open Hand girls to the dentist on Wednesday and also on Thursday they want to go help in cleaning up the Open Hand center...
the image of the girl asking me what is my name appear in front of me.
so i decided... to go back on friday... haha.. hope my mum dont kill me la...

Study vs God

2010-06-13T11:06:00.003+04:00

My exam just ended, I got excellent mark for both exam.
I am not bring proud but just giving all the glory to my God who give me the excellent result.
because i know i don't deserve this result and other people deserve it more than me.
Seriously if i can, i will give my result to other who deserve it.

But for sure i tell you, God's way of defining you deserve it or not is different.

Here i want to stress on something that most people don't seems to understand.
in Luke 1:37 For nothing is impossible with God.

Matthew 19:26

²⁶Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

we Christians are so familiar with these verses.
But God is not interested in how many verses you can remember, but He is absolutely interested in how many verses you can live out in your life ?

So often we see christian skip church service with a very "powerful" excuse, which is "tomorrow got exam."
or ignoring their duty with the same "powerful" excuse, or even rearrange their serving time to fit their exam time but not God's time.

from these we can see that how much we don't trust God, if we dont trust His promise to us, how can we get good result ?

i write this post just to remind all of us, or maybe remind my self in future that do not put your exam and your study before God, because if u do so, God will take it all away from you.

Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

the bible said seek first the kingdom of God, and all there things will be given to you as well
but not seek first your study for exam, and good result will be given to you.

so do not read, do not memorize it, do not speak about it... but LIVE it out in your life so that our God's name will be glorify.

Door Shout Out

2010-06-06T02:59:00.005+04:00

this is what i call door shout out... people play facebook not enough... now do shout out on the door some more... haha

Lately there is a trend in Kuzmin... haha.. people do door shout out... haha... of cos this is due to exam stress... well nothing much to say about this Door Stickers... you all enjoy the different writing and different warning... No trans-passing, intruder will be shot with out warning... haha.... Good luck in exam...
Valynne actually take the time to wrote us an essay ... haha... just being polite i think...
this belong to valynne too..
this belong to the sleeping king ... haha CCZ and GTS haha.. spelling mistakes.. i think he was sleepy when writing this...

haha... look at the !!! so scary... i accidentally knock the door that day.. luckily they didnt chop my hand off ... haha this belong to Marcus and Yow haha...

this is the funniest one... Printer not working during exam period haha... of cos belong to matthew la... haha printer also take holiday to study during study leave... haha....

Some thing for everyone to laugh during this stressful time.... enjoy and continue to study....

Never Too Late

2010-06-01T01:40:00.008+04:00

Someone email me this, which made me think and rethink about this...
i found nothing wrong with the above statement...
"We make them cry who care for us"
"We cry for those who never care for us"
"And we care for those who will never cry for us"

If you are reading this
and the first thing you can think about is
your love life,
about how you cry for those who rejected your love,
and how you care for the girl/guy
that will never fell in love with you.
I will tell you that you really need to change,
because life is more than that.

We make them cry who care for us.
again and again we keep sinning, we throw God away from our life,
we tell God that we can manage it, we go on our own,
we dont follow the path He made for us.
We make God, the Son and the Holy Spirit cry.

We cry for those who never care for us.
seriously I cried when a brother or sister leave the family of Christ,
As a christian we need to be more compassion,
be more personal with people and their suffering even if they never care.
Because 2000 years ago...
The God, the Son and the Holy spirit cry for those who never care for them.
that is us.

And we care for those who will never cry for us.
do i need to further explain this statement ?
Of cos in Matthew 5: 43-48 said... Love your enemies.
Your enemy will never cry for you, they will laugh when you fall down,
they will tease you when you fail...
But God says LOVE them care for them...

爱很简单

2010-05-31T02:49:00.002+04:00

忘了是怎么开始
也许就是对你有一种感觉
忽然间发现自己
已深深爱上你真的很简单
爱的地暗天黑都已无所谓
是是非非无法抉择 wu oh
没有后悔为爱日夜去跟随
那个疯狂的人是我 wu oh
I love you 无法不爱着你 baby
说你也爱我 wu～
I love you 永远不愿意 baby 失去你
不可能更快乐
只要能在一起做什么都可以
虽然世界变个不停
用最真诚的心
让爱变的简单（让爱变的简单）
爱的地暗天黑都已无所谓
是是非非无法抉择 wu oh～
没有后悔为爱日夜去跟随
那个疯狂的人是我 wu oh～
I love you 一直在这里baby
一直在爱你 wu ye～
i love you oh yes i do
永远都不放弃这爱的权利
如果你还有一些困惑 oh no
请贴着我的心倾听
听我说着我爱你 yes i do
我會永遠愛妳！！
i love you oh yes i do
一直在这里baby oh ye
一直在爱你 wu oh
I love you
永远都不放弃这爱的权利

放大缩小，你的选择。

2010-05-24T18:44:00.006+04:00

星期天到教堂去，让我想起了以前在教堂打工的一个阿姨。
她叫Aunty Jo，我也忘了我是怎么认识她的，因为她不是在我的教堂打工。
而且我也忘了我怎么认识她。
个子矮小，短头发，大概要五十岁了吧！

她以前是做传道的，也不肯定她到了哪里去。
现在就住在教堂里的一间房子，看管教堂，打理教堂。
她非常有空，也非常好人，她知道我一个人住，
离开家里到怡保念书，所以常会烘面包，还有弄蛋糕。
而且常跟我说，有心事要来找她谈。
她也很关心我的感情生活哈哈。
简单来说我要叫她干妈了。
我一个礼拜会去探望她一两次。

还记得她常给我的一个劝告，
“光圣，不要那么快谈恋爱，尤其是当你还在念书。当你还是一个学生的时候，你应该尽量去和大家相处，认识多一点朋友。如果你在这段时间谈恋爱的话，你只会把自己关在你和他的世界里。一整天在一起，忽略了身边其他人。你看我的女儿…………”

这个劝告，我反过来念都可以一字不漏的念出来。因为真的听了好多好多遍。
当时的我虽然单身，
都听得进，可是听不懂。

星期天到教堂去，我看到了一些东西让我想起了这劝告。
看到双双对对的情侣坐在一起，然后看看他们，我觉得他们的生活缩小了。
在他心中她占有了很大的空间，而在她心中他占有了很大的空间。
哪还有空间和时间给其它事情？
进进出出一直都是两个人，吃饭读书，也一样。
上课一定要坐在一起。

所以我决定把空间放大，好让更多人可以占有在我心中的地位。
孤儿，寡妇，朋友，穷人，病人……通通有需要的人我都想放进心里
通通上帝要我照顾的绵羊。
我知道我不能拯救全世界，因为我不是耶稣。
可是我能做的就是，帮得到多一个，就多一个！

可能有一天，上帝觉得我爱太多人了，毕竟我是“花心”的。
他就会給我一个女朋友，
让我好好照顾她。哈哈……

Its a blessing

2010-05-22T09:31:00.004+04:00

About 10 months ago...
I was back in Malaysia for my Summer Holiday.
One day when i was staying in my church friends house,
they mention about Lilean going back to Penang the next day around 5 to 6 am in the morning.
and she need to walk out from her house to the taxi stand in front of Mc D.
For your information the housing area near UCSI is the most dangerous area, it is famous for robbing and snatching.
So I became her body guard for that particular morning,
and i barely know her.
Saw her few times in Church only.
So i walk out from condo, which is situated on the other side of UCSI and walk to the housing area around 5am++ if not mistaken.

I didnt know that this walk will made us into close friends...
and now she is in US doing a 6 month job, just fly over there few days ago.

To Lilean,
Just want you to know that you bring great joy into my life,
and you are such a blessing to my life.
not forgetting all the sudden msg that drop by to ask how is life,
it mean a lot to a person who is so far away from the family.
I wish you best of luck in your job and of cos faster come back malaysia haha...
God bless and continue to walk with Him each day.

我

2010-05-22T03:58:00.001+04:00

哭哭啼啼的来到这世界，
高高兴兴的过我的生活，
希望没后悔的离开生命。

Do more for Jesus...

2010-05-22T01:23:00.002+04:00

I have 4 more years of medical student life to live,

4 years, 1 year 365 days... so 4 years = 1461 days

If one day i encourage a person to walk right with God,
in 1461 days 1462 soul will be encourage.

if you receive my SMS or any form of message asking you "How is your walk with God?", "Do you still read bible daily?"
No matter where you are, or how far you are way from me, no matter how much it cost... As long as you have internet or hand phone...
dont ask me why i am doing this...
I am encouraging my self... because in 1461 days 1462 souls will be encouraged.

Months ago I made up my mind to encourage a soul each day... and now few months had passed.
Indeed i am greatly bless and encourage.
And I hope you are too...

Street feeding had turn out to be street giving lately...
as I have no time to shop for food.
I been bringing a lot of loose coins in my pocket lately...
it is lighter than food indeed...

p.s: Dear Angelene... these are something little thing that i been practicing and found it suitable for a medical student haha.... you too can do for God everyday.
Hope to give you some idea... take care.

Good Friend

2010-05-21T10:11:00.007+04:00

Good friends are not those who remember your birthday or you remember theirs;
Good friends are those who will remind you that today is their birthday when you forgotten, because they want to share this special day with you
or those who you will remind them that today is your birthday when they forgotten, because you want to share this special day with them.

p/s: of cos if you remember their birthday is better la... = P
p/s2: I got a very good fren who always remember my birthday. hehe...even after years.

LOVE 2

2010-05-21T09:44:00.005+04:00

一天后

2010-05-13T21:16:00.003+04:00

昨天写了《这样有什么不好？》
今天遇到了一对耳聋的双胞胎，
也不可以说他们是耳聋，因为他们有戴着助听器。
总之他们听觉不好就是了。

看到他们两个比手划脚的样子，
让我想起了我的文章。
他们也有他们的不方便，
可是就因为他们靠手脚还有脸上的表情来表达他们要说的东西，
造成了好真实的对话。
看着他们，我仿佛看到他们在空中画了一幅画。

= )

这样有什么不好？

2010-05-12T20:49:00.004+04:00

盲人的世界是黑暗的，
他们不需要色彩电视，
也不需要到电影院。
盲人的世界没有外在美，
他们的恋爱只有内在美。
忙人的世界不需要看人家的脸色，
不管人家给他什么脸色，都无所谓，
因为对他来说只是一片黑暗。

哑巴的世界是寂寞的，
在吵闹的人群中他们都很安静，
他们不必花钱去唱K，
不管人家怎么骂他，他也不会顶嘴。

耳聋的世界是安静的，
他们不会甜言蜜语，
也不需要害怕吵架。
他们不需要MP3，也不需要歌星。
被人骂还可以脸带笑容，
被人取笑可以当不是一回事。

残废的世界是缓慢的，
坐在轮椅上，慢慢的用双手把自己推前去。
不必赶时间，可以让眼神自由飞翔。

健全的他，在烦恼明天，在烦恼爱情，在烦恼一切又一切。

5 loaves of bread and 2 fish (9/5/2010)

2010-05-09T18:41:00.003+04:00

2 Timothy 3:16-17
¹⁶All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, ¹⁷so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

so today's scripture is from John 6:5-13
⁵When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward him, he said to Philip, "Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?" ⁶He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do.

⁷Philip answered him, "Eight months' wages would not buy enough bread for each one to have a bite!"

⁸Another of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, spoke up, ⁹"Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?"

¹⁰Jesus said, "Have the people sit down." There was plenty of grass in that place, and the men sat down, about five thousand of them. ¹¹Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish.

¹²When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, "Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted." ¹³So they gathered them and filled twelve baskets with the pieces of the five barley loaves left over by those who had eaten.

this even that is being recorded in the bible is a miracle that can not be explain...Jesus recognize the need when He saw a great multitude coming towards Him. So He provided them with food.

same to us, there are plenty of needs on the earth, we need to know God's way so that His miracle can work thru us.

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what made me interested in this 5 loaves and 2 fish is the answer given by Jesus's disciples

"Eight months' wages would not buy enough bread for each one to have a bite!"
"Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?"

not sufficient and not enough.... those are the answer they give. Just like us...

Why did Jesus need the 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish ?

why cant He just make the bread from thin air... just like how He provided the Israelite when they were going to the promise land.
this is because Jesus uses what we have, and what we have is enough for God's purpose.
all the gift and ability that God granted you... is enough for you to use it and bring glory to God's name.... that is what God want you to do with your ability.

1 Timothy 4:14¹⁴Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you.

2 Timothy 1:6
⁶For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands.

You don't know what you can do until you do it. You are the five loaves of bread and 2 fish that Jesus will use to perform His miracle.

Life

2010-05-06T01:25:00.001+04:00

if u notice in face book people like to define what life is...
life is this life is that...

i came out with the best definition for life....

Life is about living it out, not defining it in facebook... = P

The Armour of God

2010-05-04T04:09:00.002+04:00

Ephesians 6: 10-18
¹⁰Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. ¹²For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. ¹⁸And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Planted in the house of the Lord (2nd May 2010)

2010-05-04T02:56:00.002+04:00

I was touched by what the pastor said before he start his sermon.
He said we not only honor God with our offering but also with the time that we spend every Sunday morning in church. because i was doubting should i go for service since everyone is not going due to tiredness... but I know that is not a good excuse....
-----------------------------------------------------------
Psalm 92: 12-15

¹² The righteous will flourish like a palm tree,
they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;

¹³ planted in the house of the LORD,
they will flourish in the courts of our God.

¹⁴ They will still bear fruit in old age,
they will stay fresh and green,

¹⁵ proclaiming, "The LORD is upright;
he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him."

Verse 12 mention about cedar of Lebanon.
ever wonder what is cedar of Lebanon?
it is an evergreen coniferous tree, it is a very rare and precious tree.
Bible said that the righteous will be ever 'green' ever flourish.

God said He will give us power to gain riches, but not riches fall down from the sky without have to work for it.
so everything that God wanted to bless us with, He will give us in the form of seeds, if they are planted in the house of the LORD, they will flourish in the courts of our God.

Growing of a seed needs time water and soil...
time is about waiting, everyone of us know how to wait for our blessing to come.
but from time to time we forgotten to water it, and some times we even change our mind about where to plant the seed.

You are like a seed that God planted in His garden. You need time water and soil to grow.
keep in mind that we are planted seeds not wild seed that simply grow.
what is the different between wild seed and planted seed ?

wild seeds are being planted randomly all over the place, but the farmer will carefully choose the best spot for a planted seed so that it can grow and bare good fruits in the future.
wild seeds need to compete with each other to gain water, nutrient and sunlight, but the farmer will personally water the planted seed and fertilize it.

so God calculated everything before He planted you, He calculated the time you will be born, the time you accept Christ, the time you graduate... He calculated all. Just like how a farmer calculate the time to plan his seed so that it can bear the best fruits from the best season.

John 15: 1-4
¹"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. ²He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. ³You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. ⁴Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

after reading John 15:1-4 you may wonder why you are not bearing any fruits ??
Psalm 1: 1-3
¹ Blessed is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.

² But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

³ He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.

focus on verse 3... which yields its fruits in season...
so if you are still wondering, the answer is it is not yet your season.

As a seed we have to stay where God planted us so that we can grow, from time to time they maybe heavy rain, strong wind, or hot sun that might endanger the growth... but God will never leave us nor forsake us..

I dont know what to do.

2010-05-02T03:46:00.002+04:00

I really dont know what to do...
felt really lost, but i know where i want to go...
felt like i am in control but i am not in control...
to some extend... i dont even know what i want, and who or which is the real me...

Feeling...

2010-04-29T02:34:00.002+04:00

Feeling 这个字很抽象……华人叫它“感觉”
我喜欢感觉，我喜欢接触不一样的感觉。

我喜欢感觉胜利=我喜欢感觉失败
我喜欢感觉爱情=我喜欢感觉单身
我喜欢感觉单恋=我喜欢感觉热恋
我喜欢感觉友情=我喜欢感觉翻脸
我喜欢感觉热闹=我喜欢感觉寂寞
我喜欢感觉健康=我喜欢感觉生病
我喜欢感觉勇敢=我喜欢感觉害怕
我喜欢感觉早晨=我喜欢感觉傍晚
我喜欢感觉春风=我喜欢感觉冬雪
我喜欢感觉音乐=我喜欢感觉谈天
我喜欢感觉阳光=我喜欢感觉月亮
我喜欢感觉高兴=我喜欢感觉伤心

经历过各种各样的好与坏的感觉，会让一个人成长。
学会去享受好的感觉，也学会去面对不好的感觉。

我喜欢有你陪在我身边一起走的感觉，让我有着一种奇妙的安全感。

searching

2010-04-24T13:59:00.002+04:00

I am searching for 2 things...

1st thing is... the taste of the jasmine green tea that me and my x gf like to drink when we go sing k

2nd thing is... the smell of the perfume that my 2nd x gf used only for once...

will i find back the taste and smell that i been looking for so long ?

Happy Birthday

2010-04-17T23:44:00.002+04:00

Happy Birthday Jasper...
23 years of life... you really walk thru a lot... and a lot more to come...
stay strong...
dont let penguin say you are Emo again = P
dont let your girl friend say you are childish any more = P
dont be a husband before you really be a boy friend = P
dont bother if the sun rise form the west = P
dont be naughty = P
Live your own life, and dont live for other....

dare to dream, and dream high...
dare to fail, and stand up again...
see you next year...

from
阿信

To Beatrice Foong

2010-04-16T13:39:00.002+04:00

To: Beatrice Foong

When I was going thru your profile in face book... i notice a photo folder call surprise farewell, I could not stop to wonder whose farewell did you attended. End up i found out that it was your farewell... Seriously, not cool at all...
I was never told, well i know i never ask... so i kind of run thru my MSN online list try to look for you... cant find you. But i found Nic, good enough to tell me that you are leaving for Hawaii to further your study.
I cant believe that 5 years passed since we first and last meet each other... always planned to meet you up in KL but it never happened. So it turn out to be 5 years... Well I meet Nic back in Ipoh during my last visit. It was coincidence.
I was wondering what had you been doing in these 5 years... dating? hang out? SPM? and finally i noticed that you were in college before you went to Hawaii... *the power of Facebook.

Dont really know how fun was your life... But i bet with Nic and you together, you 2 can walk thru fire together with a smiling face... My memory for you stop back in 5 years ago... it was never refreshed. You will be in Hawaii and i will be in Moscow chances for us to met up... 0% I guess i gonna meet you after you graduate and come back to malaysia...

Just want to wish you all the best in your studies... and stay pretty... = )

take care girl...

鯨魚女孩‧池塘男孩

2010-04-12T05:36:00.001+04:00

鯨魚女孩‧池塘男孩

Give life a second chance.....

2010-04-10T01:38:00.003+04:00

"Give life a second chance."

this 5 words phrase keep repeating in my head for days...
giving life a second chance...
what does it suppose to mean...

I been thinking about it... and actually found out that i been giving a lot people a second chance. People that i dont think i will be friend to, I gave them a second chance. People that screw up things and yet i gave them a second chance. And of cos the beggar, last time i used to hate them, always wonder why they dont want to study harder and have a better life or why dont they start working with their hand and leg.... and yet... now i am giving them a second chance.

I forgotten about a person, I didnt give him a second chance to change...
and that person is Me my self....
I didnt give my self a second chance when i hurt her so much,
but now i am giving my self a second chance to learn to love others.
and also when I fail... i didnt give my self a second chance...

I just keep running and running... there are things that i blame my self for years.
She told me you should stop running and face it...

I am giving my self a second chance... to change and to be a better person..

Some advice

2010-04-10T01:14:00.003+04:00

I do not give to get a blessing. I give to be a blessing.

Love people. Use things. If you love things, you'll end up using people to get more of them.

God gives you just enough time to do His Will.If you always feel behind,you're trying to do more than he intended.

The purpose of marriage is to make you holy, not happy. Happiness is a byproduct, not an end in itself.

these are some useful advice i get from Pastor Rick Warren....
think about it....

3 things to do in a day....

2010-04-09T02:03:00.005+04:00

When you wake up, think about God;Through out your day, glorify God;Before you sleep, give thanks to God.

2010-04-08T12:45:00.001+04:00

你是汹涌的海浪
我是疲惫的沙滩
暖暖的斜阳
吊在我们的肩膀
你用醉人的眼波
拴住恋爱的绳索
那么痴迷那么绮丽

你轻轻柔柔的细述着槟城下的雨
淋湿你的长发几十年来抹也抹不去啊
我会慢慢的想起几十年都不会忘记
轻轻的为你唱首歌几十年的歌
靠在你的背后紧紧握着你的右手
慢慢的教你写首诗要你记着我的事
当你孤孤单单的时候我要继续为你唱出这首歌

I have...

2010-04-05T00:16:00.003+04:00

In Russia... I attend a very big church, every service maybe 500 people...
Pastor preaching is so powerful, so encouraging...
But when i stand right in front of my pastor today, I don't know who he is...
I look him on his face, I observe his dressing...
such good looking guy, such nice coat and slack...
But I don't know much about him except for 'he is my pastor' ...

In Malaysia... I attend a very small church, every service barely 50 people...
Pastor preaching some times makes me sleepy, but yet encouraging...
When i sit beside my pastor and have dinner with him, I know that we are friend...
T shirt and Jeans is enough for him...
We hang out and have fun together most of the time...

I am missing HOME...
A place where we have no boss, where Pastor is our friend, where cell group leader is our friend... where everyone is so caring and so nice...
I am just missing HOME cos i am sick...
A place where my heart are more pure...

7 thing i want to learn in the month of April

2010-04-02T01:19:00.003+04:00

From time to time i love to challenge my self to grow,
to be more cheerful, to be more helpful, to be more willing to serve...
as each day is a new day and i am better than yesterday....

so these are the 7 thing that i want to challenge my self to learn for this month....

to be poor in spirit
to mourn
to be meek
to be hunger and thirst for righteousness
to be merciful
to be pure in heart
to be peacemaker

out of the 7... i will put my focus on 6... to have a pure heart... i have seen so many impure heart, all those small little action, all those favorable caring from christian...
i want a change, i want a out break, i dont want to only be good to the people that i love, but also to the people that i dont love... but i dont want to be good to people that i dont love because the bible said so... but i want to be good to the people that i dont love because i learned to love them.

春天终于来了

2010-04-01T11:22:00.001+04:00

今年的冬天特别寒冷，整个城市笼罩在阴白的雪里。

灰蒙蒙的天空，迟迟不见着阳光，让人感到莫名的沮丧，

常常走在街上就有一种落泪的冲动····

但是冬天总是会过去，春天总是会来····

欢迎您春天，快步进我们的生活。

What!!!!

2010-03-30T13:30:00.002+04:00

Matthew 6:3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.

this was a verse given by some one to me for no reason...
i dont know what is in that person's mind because i am not God.
i dont do mind reading.

But this is the problem with the world...
Do bad things people will say you bad,
do good thing people will say you showing off... haha

People may not know my intention of doing things,
and i am under no obligation to report to anyone about my intention.
I dont really care how people look at what i am doing,
I dont bother how people think of what i am doing.

If u really dont want your right hand to know what your left hand is doing,
chop it off...
If u really dont want other people know what you are doing
kill everyone...

haha...

God bless the good and the bad, God bless the humble and the proud, God bless the rice and the poor... God bless.

We never want to go beyond what we used to.

2010-03-30T12:59:00.002+04:00

As i was waiting for bus to go church today... a question pop up in my head. Is my faith a bus ride to my destination?

We always have destination when we go out,
i know that if i take bus number 89, 99, 655, or 145...
i will reach home from metro or reach metro from home...
then we will get down and the bus move on. leaving us at our destination.
We know that this is where we should get down and go home.
We never want to miss a stop, we never want to go one more stop ahead and see waht is in front or what is beyond it.

Is our faith like that? Is serving God the same to us too?
Do we always stop at the same point and tell our self that we cant go one step further?
Do we always stop at the same point and tell our self that we dont want to go any further?
Is what we already have satisfy us?

So some times we wanted to go to Ashan to get some stuff, we took 655 and the bus drive pass the stop that we usually get down and go home. The bus go another 10 to 15 min to reach Mega. But if we dont want to go Ashan, we will not do that.

Is our faith like that? Is serving God the same to us too?
We only take a step further when we wanted to?
We only take a step further when we are comfortable?

Take bus number 655 go a few more stop and you will reach a shopping paradise.
this apply the same to our faith too... take a few more step and you will reach God's designated paradise for you. Follow God's plan and you will prosper.
Not only when we want to...but do it everytime.

我

2010-03-26T08:17:00.002+03:00

我哭泣因为我受伤了，
我微笑因为我开心了。

生活少一口气不会死，
少一个真心朋友会失。

有时你想真心，
别人只想外表，

有时你的真心入谷，
他的真心只能如此。

有时你对他的用心良苦，
换不回同一个用心良苦。

把花瓶丢出去了，
拿回来的是碎片。

能解决的是就不要拿来烦恼，生活开心就好

谭雪丽

Death

2010-03-25T11:50:00.001+03:00

Just get to know that a guy lost her girl friend due to brain death...
i prayed for her... and she left...
just a split second... life ended...

and here i am facing problems with friends with people... never learn to treasure...
and never want to treasure...

伤害

2010-03-24T11:13:00.004+03:00

昨天我伤害了自己最关心的人……
可能这就是我的专长……
可是这一次不一样，因为我哭了……
我害怕失去，可是还有三个月这一切就要改变了，到最后我还是会失去。

六年前第一次为他从上课哭到放学，朋友都问我发生了什么事……
我没答，答案是：我伤害了我最要好的他。
六年后第二次为你哭了一整晚，原因也一样……
因为我伤害了我最关心的你。

梓色心晴说:
男人哭了，是因为他真的爱了。

我哭了是因为我真的在乎了。

是我的错……一千一万个对不起，也补救不回的伤害……

T.T

2010-03-23T23:21:00.000+03:00

One touch and i burst into tears for hour...
One touch from God and i cried for hour...
The mighty hand reach down to me and comfort me...
The God that i always fail to put 1st in my heart...
Touched me when i cry out to Him...
'I am depress' i said...
It felt to death ear of human... 'I am depress' i said... He knew i was talking to Him...
The answer came immeddiately...
The touch of comfort... from heaven to earth...
He said 'Surrender all your fight to Me, Surrender all your burden to me'
He is willing to take it for me when i was not...
When i keep holding on to it... He said 'surrender to me'... 'I'll help you'
tears burst out...
i tried to stop...
His voice was so clear... it was so clear...
'I am tired' i said...
'surrender it to me and take rest my son' He said...

Father, You said every tears that drop down from my eyes... You will collect it and make it into prescious pearl in heaven...
You are my lover, You are number 1.

♬ ♫ ♪Top Of The World♬ ♫ ♪

2010-03-20T13:01:00.003+03:00

A very beautiful song... such soothing music and the happiness and joy of being on top of the world when we are in love can be felt in the singing and the music... The Carpenters is always my favorite Old disc ... well Beatles too hehe....

Such a feelin's comin' over me

There is wonder in most everything I see

Not a cloud in the sky

Got the sun in my eyes

And I won't be surprised if it's a dream

Everything I want the world to be

Is now coming true especially for me

And the reason is clear

It's because you are here

You're the nearest thing to heaven that I've seen

I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation

And the only explanation I can find

Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around

Your love's put me at the top of the world

Something in the wind has learned my name

And it's tellin' me that things are not the same

In the leaves on the trees and the touch of the breeze

There's a pleasin' sense of happiness for me

There is only one wish on my mind

When this day is through I hope that I will find

That tomorrow will be just the same for you and me

All I need will be mine if you are here

I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation

And the only explanation I can find

Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around

Your love's put me at the top of the world

chinaheart mercy

2010-03-19T14:56:00.000+03:00

China heart mercy

Amazing one! Dont miss His grace in your life =)

Come and join....

2010-03-19T00:42:00.004+03:00

There is something amazing about this photo...can anyone guess what is the amazing part of this photo... the winner get a meal treat by me, Russian citizen I'll bring you to Buddy Cafe, for Malaysia citizen when i go back for holiday i bring you to eat the best teriyaki chicken.... hehe

I was in prayer meeting today... i cant pray during the whole time, was trying to hold my tears most of the time. Was thinking of what Valynne said about being the light of the world. And their faces came into my mind... one by one... the one in Barikad, the one in Tagan, The one in Lubyanka, and the one standing and looking down the stairs this afternoon...
I recognize them, I remember their faces... I want to do more for them... and i want to do more for those faces that i haven't meet and those i yet to meet.

People... i cant do it alone... because 2 is better than 1. I cant be at places at one time, i can only be at a place at a time...

同一个

2010-03-17T01:32:00.002+03:00

同一天下午，
同一个时间，
同一个目的，
同一个地方，
同一位女士，
同一份工作，
同一位阿婆，
同一个角落，
同一个动作，
同一个表情，
同一包食物，
同一种心情。

谁知道我在写什么？。。。。

我不再是我了

2010-03-17T01:05:00.002+03:00

今天在ASHAN是想起你星期日讲起的一句话，
你说：“Yvonne Tong是女的，难得你不想认识她。”

两年前我可能会有兴趣认识她，可是现在不了。
以前的我，已经死了……从新生活了。
不一样了。
因为我已经有我自己爱的人了，你一定很清楚的知道那是谁吧？
＝）

我很确定这爱是真的，
爱不可以当游戏，
思考了很久，也犹豫了很久，
会不会又到一半放弃我爱的人，

不会！

给老婆的信

2010-03-17T00:56:00.003+03:00

至：老婆

老婆啊！
这一些都是我想跟你说的话，

在你最忙的时候，我会帮你到超级市场买家里须要的东西。
在你女人痛时，我会体谅你的坏脾气，你的任性。
如果你不想讲话，我会静静的陪在你身旁。
如果你不喜欢洗碗，你可以放着，我会帮你洗。
我会载你上班，你还没下班就在门口等你。
从现在起，我一个星期学一道菜，以后为你准备好吃的晚餐。
每一年生日都会亲自帮你做生日卡。
如果你不会电脑的话，我会很有耐心的教你。
如果你遇见难题，我会帮你想办法。
我不会把你一个人丢下。
你打破碗碟时，我不会骂你。我会把碎片拾起来，不让你伤到脚。
你把水弄倒时，我会拿布帮你抹……

当我把我带在颈项的戒指戴在你手上时，我答应你会爱你一辈子。
因为戒指上写着"forever LOVE"

可是我希望你可以答应我几件事，
答应我,你不会介意我的平凡和贫穷。
我不想过着豪华的生活，生活有你就可以了。
答应我要爱上帝多一点。
陪我一起做善事，陪我一起传道……
不管上帝要我们到哪里去，我们都会一起去。
好吗？

未来老公笔

早餐~~~

2010-03-15T07:25:00.002+03:00

听着一首很漂亮的钢琴曲……
啊！！我忘了吃早餐。

不想你学吉他，因为我比较喜欢小提琴……
可是我知道你要学的目的，跟我当初的目的是一样的……
我会支持你。

守护天使

2010-03-12T08:15:00.005+03:00

传说中在天堂有两种天使，
黑天使还有白天使……
黑天使帮助上帝惩罚那些做错事的人。
而白天使就是每天帮上帝传送祷告，帮助人类走回正路的天使。

有一天，一位黑天使在把有罪的人带下地狱时，和罪人打了起来……
他打输了，一不小心被罪人用刀把右边的翅膀砍断了。
天使就从此飞不回天堂了……

女孩刚巧当天路过，发现了天使……天使躺在地上受了重伤。
女孩把他带回家，帮他治疗伤口，每天弄饭给他吃，
就这样一直到天使伤好了

天使一直寻找办法想飞回天堂……
他试着去踏飞机，希望能飞到靠近天堂一点……
他也曾经弄了翅膀模型……
还是没办法。

因为没了翅膀
他就一直住在地球上，生活在人间……
慢慢的时间长了，他也学会了人类的性格，人类的感情……
天使爱上了她。

所以就这样黑天使守护着她的每一天。
从此天堂还是有黑天使和白天使，可是地球多了一个守护天使。

I Fall For You

2010-03-12T01:49:00.004+03:00

This song sing it all... this is my feeling towards you...

Who am i...

2010-03-12T01:10:00.001+03:00

Who am i that i can judge and tell what you should do...
but then, when last time God wanted me to tell... and i didnt... it end up tragedy...
and now again...
should i just let it be... or should i tell...

I was worried....

2010-03-10T00:22:00.002+03:00

Seriously... i was worried about hostel... about i cant get into spartive...
Heard that people been applying for it... and the price is increasing from 500usd to 800usd...
i was really worried...
but one night before i sleep God whisper to me...
He ask me why am i worried? He ask me dont i trust in His plan?
and I fell asleep... peacefully...

Here goes my story...
I was given 3 chances to enter permanent hostel... 2 times to spartive and 1 time to kahov...
and the 3rd was to spartive... even my documentation is done...
but i rejected... no one knows why... and of course since no one knows... i wont be telling here also.. haha...

so i heard that most of my friend is applying to go into spartive for next year... thru some senior and do this do that... well... i pray hard that they all will get it...
WHY AM I NOT APPLYING?
i wanted to apply....
when i came back from summer holiday my mum actually gave me 500usd extra for the bribe... well most people say it is not consider a bribe cos most of the people going in spartive also need to pay that to the mama or to the director to get a place...
what happen is i kept the money after i rejected the 3rd offer into spartive... i kept it i kept it and i kept it....
in the end... i gave it as a pledge for winter conference... 300usd... the best part is my mum dont know about it.
now i felt like i want to apply for spartive... but where should i get the money? i cant tell my mum that i need money for the bribe... cos she already gave me... i cant save enough money for my self... and i dont know how...
and in Proverbs 15:27 it struck me as it says: " A greedy man brings trouble to his family, but he who hates bribes will live "

I gave up... i seriously gave up.... i am not going to apply for it... no matter where i am going to stay for next year... no matter if i am going to be apart from my best friends... God told me: "Trust in my plan, and i will make you prosperous."

some times we view it as not a bribe... but God's standard is so high that no matter how you call it... If it is a bribe... it will still be a bribe... I have learn to walk right with God... so i have to continue walking straight...

A present from God....

2010-03-10T00:17:00.002+03:00

Wala!!!! here is another amazing creature God gave me....
Still remember that day i gave God a flower... and i was worried that no flower will bloom on time for my friend's birthday... But God say give the flower to me... and i will give something back to you.... see see.... lovely fragile baby rose is budding out.... hope he can make it on time... hehe....
This is a present from God for my friend....
the baby Rose standing so tall giving glory to God....

My Mini Church...

2010-03-09T23:43:00.005+03:00

Hi... welcome to my mini church haha... this church have only 1 member which is me... service time is every day... time is up to the only member haha....
The picture above is my window...in my room... which makes me feel like i am sleeping in church... haha... and all the small small stickey notes i stick on the window haha...
ok come... let look thru one by one....
this is Vision 10 card...
Lyric from Evermore...
Lyric from What The World Will Never Take
Kong Hee's Sermon...
The only time jasper appear in bible... and look at how the word is use.... Awsome...
From a sermon but dono who said this...
My prayer.... still working on it...
Only in the dark...

Devotion

Devotion
I am still a sinner.... but God still love me... huhu
This one is amazing.... i keep reminding my self of this....
Always and Forever

= )

Those are all the things that i want to tell God each day... All the praises i want to give to God... All the things and issue i want to commit to God each day... I can only do the possible... which is pray... but God can do the impossible... which is make my prayer work...
Love God... Have Faith... Stand Strong... Hold On... Be In Peace....

God bless...

Beatitude

2010-03-08T11:39:00.001+03:00

你说：“BEATITUDE 就是祝福。”
我会把你的祝福收好，因为这祝福对我很珍贵。
谢谢你。

Abel and Cain

2010-03-06T09:36:00.004+03:00

To Miss Ng Valynne...
still remember the flower i gave Charmaine, that i cut down from my pot... And now this is yours... haha.... Charmaine said can not cut the flower... so this is the only way i can send you this flower... sorry for the delay... because the flower dont want to bloom, i cant do anything but wait... Since you cant smell it, i will tell you that it smells really nice.

Have a nice week end and grow in faith each day... be hunger for His words...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

This blog is given the title "Abel and Cain" ....
Look at this rose that bloom from my pot, i have 3 roses in my pot... the other 2 look more like Bunga Raya than rose. haha... but this particular one is so out standing...
I was thinking that my friend birthday is coming so i can dedicate this flower to her...
suddenly i thought of Abel and Cain... Abel brought the best from his flock to give as offering to God but Cain didn't.
Here i am standing and looking at the prettiest rose i ever grow... thinking of giving it to a friend and God whisper to me.... thru His words. As i said last time 'when God speak u better listen' haha.....
To God,
This is the flower that i want to dedicate to you... the best from my pot... You deserve the best from me...
Thank You for everything, thank you for coming into my life on the first place when i was lost and lonely, thank you because you search for me again when i was lost, thank you for providing the best when i needed it....
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Broke up and disappointed

2010-03-05T23:12:00.004+03:00

I was shock when i heard that my best fren broke up wit her bf...
I was even shock when she told me she is with another guy now...
less den 7 days...
what should i tell her ? congratulation? or how could you?
i dont really know...
i talked to her about everything... from sun rise to sun set... from my personality and her's... from hated angry to happy joy... we are very close... her birthday is 1 day before mine...
we kind of have the same personality...

but when she told me that... i was shock and speechless...
and indeed disappointed. but of all people... i understand what she is facing... her loneliness, feeling of insecure ... Just hope that she is happy with the other guy.

Besides that.. my best fren over here in moscow... haha...
quarrel with his gf... it is kind of funny...
the gf was hungry and he didnt get food for her... so she get angry
after that when everything is ok...
he mess up again...
the gf waited for him at the metro station for 30min...
from his hostel to the metro station i think need only 30min.
that means he still at home when the gf reach haha...
today friday they were happily playing volley ball haha...
------------------------------------------------------------

that was about other ppl's life. now about my life.
5months of single life...
Did i enjoy it?
haha yes...

why did i enjoy it?
i enjoyed my last 5 months of life because i spending everyday encountering God.
Hunger for His words, Love to give praises to God...
I am addicted to sermon haha...
you know that churches normally have their CD recorded sermon... 1 spend at least 1 hour each day to listen to sermon...
an hour each day praying. reading, and dwelling in His presence...

My spiritual life directly brings effect to my personal life...
I changed... ppl used to say i was gloomy day haha....
but now seriously turn into sunny day.
I wanted to be happy and cheerful everyday...
and i know how haha....

Encounter God each day...
and i mean each day.... not only when you feel like u want to...
hehe....

5C

2010-03-02T15:54:00.003+03:00

We all know about the 5C, that girls usually say when it comes to looking for a partner....

5C
Career
Car
Condo
Cash
Card

I came out with a better 5C

Christ
Caring
Capable
Cherish
and the last one is
Companion

Feeling

2010-02-26T10:40:00.002+03:00

When it comes to relationship... girls always talk about feeling...
if you never been into a relationship, or you been into a relationship for once or twice only....
you will also think that this "feeling" thing is the most important thing that you are looking for.

this "feeling" is neither wrong nor right...
it is wrong when you have a feeling wrongly, but it is right when you have a feeling under some condition. (in my own opinion)

Did you ever wonder why this feeling exist?
it exist due to favoritism (the act of liking something more than the other)...
for most of us... what do we like more than other?
Of course the answer is "Good Looking"
so outer appearance play an extream role in developing of feeling.
which is the wrong way...

But for some people... they over look this outer appearance thing and rather look at a person's heart or what we said as inner beauty instead.
if a person's kindness, gentleness, attitude, character.... can stir your feeling within you.
I will tell you to go for him/her (if you are a non christian)

what i am trying to say is
yes feeling is important, but the way the feeling is being develop is more important than the feeling it self.

the above text is some theoretical part.... now is the experimental part... which is my life story.
growing up as a typical school kid... i did have requirements for the kind of girls that i will like.
you know... example long hair, nice body shape, big eyes, not too sharp nose, blond was in the list too... hehe
well... i found the girl that i want... long hair, nice body shape, big eyes, not too sharp nose...but not blond la haha.... she is pretty.
by her outer appearance alone can stir my feeling up to 100% at that time.

after that i had a lot more... until i grow tired of outer appearance, until it cant satisfy me.
so i turn to search for inner beauty instead... i did found a few relationship with girls that have inner beauty as beautiful as angels and they were not so good looking. seriously... it took me into another experience of relationship... i felt that my choice of seeking for inner beauty was correct. The relationship experience was better than last time. I enjoyed the relationship.

continue to read the text below if you believe in God(JESUS), if you dont you can read too... but dont get offended.... hehe....
-------------------------------------------------
This is when God step in and said "stop."
"If you continue on, you are going to hell."
dude... if you get this kind of warning from God you better listen...
because He is not kidding.
I broke up with her for a month, then i choose to put God's advice to the side and get back with her after that.
My spiritual life, drop!!! like a vase drop from 100th floor to ground floor.
that is when i start to realize.... i realize what i have to seek for...
i realize what i need to favor.
i realize what i need to choose.
so i go back to God...
I learn to love God, I learn to listen to God, and i learn to look for Godly character in ppl instead of thier own inner beauty.

But no matter how Godly is that person, is he/she God's plan for you?
remember this... God is in control of everything... if he/she is God's plan for you.. do you think a weak human can change God's plan, do you think some other people can grab her from you?
NO!

Life is a process... to learn to love is also a process. I had learn to love the appearance... then i learn to love the inner beauty... in the end I learn to LOVE GOD first.

Turning into a LOVE GURU

2010-02-25T09:48:00.002+03:00

I feel like i am turning into a love guru haha...
teaching people how to love and how to go after the person they like...
and on the same time teaching people how to go after God's heart first...

Advice from the "love guru"
LOVE makes ppl blind.
you can see this in the bible it self...
David kill a guy just that he can get his's wife....
Adam and eve in the garden of eden...
Eve gave the forbidden fruit to Adam, and he ate it...

If people like Adam and David can be so blinded by love,
how much more will we be ?

Have you seen a cell group leader being so desperate for love that he fail to do God's duty?
Have you seen a faithful christian because of a non christian partner, leave the presence of God?
Have you seen 2 faithful christian fall because of the love for each other grow stronger than the love for God?
I have seen it all...

LOVE

2010-02-20T07:59:00.005+03:00

I just love this passage that now i would like to share it with you all and also on the same time share my experience in this walk of relationship and also my personal opinion (which might be wrong)
here goes...
My first crush was my primary class mate, back then I was not who i am today, i was shy and quiet... so I dont tell, she dont know... and i dont even know how to court a girl ^^
Few months before end of standard 6, her fren came to me and pass me something...
it was a sticker with her info and detail on it (yes including phone number)
and her fren said 'she likes you'
i didnt call... infect i never call at all. (told you already i dont know how to court a girl)
She was very pretty back in primary school, and during secondary school time she became even prettier...

here come my secondary school life.
Form 1 till Form 5 i never had a chance to get into a relationship.
Why ? back then 1 of the main reason i think is my look, i am not good looking at all (now also not) 2nd reason I still dont know how to court a girl.

but everything change after I end up with my first gf during the end of form 6. Until today i am still curious why she accepted me as her bf, but i really thank her because she is the turning point of my life. I learn a lot form her including how to court a girl ya you can say that i court her after we get together haha.
then the second then the third... all in all 9 times.
Am i a playboy? haha no i am not i only ask for broke up twice out of 9 person (i know some people will say it is just a lame excuse)

So here come the main point... which is the picture above, after getting into so many relationship i start to question what is the point when it does not end up in a marriage? Who then is the one that will tie her knot with me ? I begin to seek answer from God... Indeed answer really drop from the sky haha... "But that doesn't mean our task is to discover what He already knows or to worry that we might miss His perfect plan. "
this verse in a book struck me... Yes God has his perfect couple for us, but our duty is not to find out who she or he is... but our duty is to God.

Times we see many great Christian leaders fall because of relationship. It happens many many times right in front of my life. Even the people who was my leader fell.
Because of what they desire...
When you desire it so much it become an idol in your heart that it become a substitute to God.

this is me... hehe... in the center of no where.... just for fun...

For the strangers

2010-02-19T09:01:00.003+03:00

There were time when i doubted what i was doing...
But your smile and your happiness told me that i was not wrong...
I am a human, who can only be at one place at one time...
For all the time i have with you i will treasure it...
But God can be at so many place at anytime...
For He is almighty, let Him protect and guide you...
I will not let go of your hand, I will be at your side when you need me...

I walk pass 2 times

2010-02-16T17:56:00.003+03:00

Yesterday i finish giving the biscuit in my bag(around 4 packets), so i though of maybe i'll give it a break and will continue some other time.
But suddenly half an hour before the chinese prayer meeting start, I have a feeling telling me to stock up the biscuit in my bag. So without questioning i took out the remaining biscuit in my cupboard, wrote the notes and put all 5 into my bag.

Today, when i was on my way to surgical care class ( well i was almost late ),i saw 2 old lady asking for money along the tunnel... as they were on the other side of the tunnel... i cant walk straight up to them... i have to make a big u turn and come back to them... but worth it.
Let me tell you all one thing about giving, if you ever want to give to a beggar do not give and walk... but give and look at their face..
this old lady today, as i put a pack of biscuit into her hand... she look me into my eyes and smile and keep saying spasiba (means thank you in russian). I kind of shock haha... cos i never thought that she will react in such way. As i walk away i put on my hood and blend into the crowd...

but for what i been doing... that very smile from a russian stranger is enough to make my day.

14/02/2010

2010-02-15T18:28:00.002+03:00

Today is 14th of Feb which make it Valentine's day and Chinese New Year... and on the same time Prem and Nicole's birthday...
2am in the morning which is 7am for Malaysia.. i call back to my mum...
to wish my family Happy Chinese New Year,
which i didnt expect my mum had a bad news for me...
my grandma has kidney failure... i dont know how severe is her condition,i dont know it involve 1 or both kidney, but then doctor had issue her letter for hemodilysis.
Since it is CNY so i didnt ask much about how she is... but i told my mum must bring grandma to do another check up and after that see if she still need hemodilysis.

She took care of me since i was small, in this world... only she knows what is my favorite dish... and she is the only one who knows how to cook it...
i still remember how she used to make sling shot for us... so that we can play... i still remember how she used to carry a big packet of rice by her self when we were still small...
but when we grow up... we have our own life... we tend to ignore her... we tend to get use to her presence and didnt notice that her life is slipping away bit by bit each day.

It's Sunday i know i cant cry because i still need to attend church, i know there are a bunch of friends out there who will be worried if they see my swollen eyes... some more it is CNY and Valentine's day... i dont want to spoil their mood... so i make my self a happy face... thou i was quiet for some period of time...

when i was in the metro walking with charmaine beside me, i saw an old lady bagging for money, i walk pass her... and i remembered my grandma... so i turn back and handed her a pack of biscuit...
indeed my tears almost drop... but i make it stop.

If only i can bargain with God, if only i can ask for 5 more years for her or maybe more...for her to see me graduate... to see her gradson become a doctor and be proud.

As i pass by....

2010-02-13T10:09:00.003+03:00

As i was on my way to physical training... I saw 2 person clearing the snow and ice on the road... as normal we tend to ignore these people, and just walk pass them.
But that day i didnt, i saw them... i saw their face as i walk pass...
I was shock, both of them standing there... are women.

i began to wonder why?
but end up with no answer.

Street Feeding Phase1
11/2/10 day1 no one was spotted
12/2/10 day2
3.14pm M.Taganskaya a pack of chocolate biscuit was given to an old lady as i was on my way to class and as i was on my way back from class... she was still there.
6.06pm M.Taganskaya a pack of chocolate biscuit was given to a young lady
6.25pm M.Kushminki I didnt see a bag that i can drop the biscuit into so i pass the guy 50rub

big or small, dirty or clean, man or women, normal or handicap, drunk or not drunk...
if you ask... it will be given...

Give and you will be given...

Beautiful day

2010-02-12T02:18:00.002+03:00

today is a beautiful day doing nothing...
haha... well i know to start street feeding... you know what...
all the beggar suddenly get rich and was not there...

there i was ready with my food... but they were not there...
that is for 1st day... this will go on until i finish the 12 packet of biscuit and 2 loaf of bread.
and then i will go into phase 2... haha...

sun was shining brightly this morning... kind of love it after so long didnt see sun shine...

Testimony

2010-02-10T21:57:00.002+03:00

This is just a plain testimony of which i want to share.

When i first heard of this winter conference, i found it boring and yet just another christian thing.
but after that some thing happen in my life that causes changes... you know la shits happen... but this is holy shit la... means good shit... = )
so i sign up for winter conference during Vision 10, and very excited to go and have a look...
and you know la shits happen... this time is dirty shit... they said they are having financial problem for the winter conference...
bla bla bla... i was given a pledge card for winter conference, was ask to pledge.... a problem appear... how much should i pledge?
and bla bla bla... i wrote 250 if i not mistaken... after careful calculation God say 250
so bla bla bla time to pay the pledge... i took out 300 but is 300USD...
haha ya i gave 300USD instead of 250USD...

3 to 4 years ago when i was still a young christian... i was ask... if i only have RM10 how much will i give back to God. According to the bible is 10% so is RM1...
so the amazing Jasper who was on fire that time said RM5 ...

believe it or not... the more you pledge for it... the more it will change you life....
winter conference... impacted my life...
do not be stingy on God, for God always pour out His blessing without second thought

Cosmetic

2010-02-10T21:37:00.003+03:00

The only cosmetic that will make you look better when you put it on your face is SMILE....

Mercy

2010-02-10T20:27:00.006+03:00

Mercy... it was 1 or 2 years ago when i was first introduce to the word 'mercy'
i was told that mercy is to treat some one good even if you think they don't deserve it.
just like how God treat us... we are sinners, we don't deserve anything from Him, but because God is merciful, He gave His one and only son to die on the cross for us.

It was mention many many times that, because of mercy Jesus healed a lot sick people.
in Proverbs 14:31 he who oppresses the poor reproaches his Maker, but he who honors Him has mercy on the needy.

and it was about 3 to 4 years ago when i was first introduce to the activity call 'street feeding'
i was told by my cell group leader that on the Christmas night we are going out to distribute food.
Well.. i thought we just need to give food to the poor people... but that night i end up giving rice in polystyrene boxes to beggars, to the homeless, and to the people with mental problem in the town of Ipoh.
So i was curious and wanted to know where is our first location... my CG leader said just drive a long the street and keep your eyes open and search for them.
I though we were going to finish early, end up i delayed my date with my GF and spend the whole night hunting and feeding on the street.

2 occasion happen at 2 different time... but now i am going to take this 2 things and put it together. Yes i am starting street feeding in Moscow... since i not so rich to buy rice, i bought a lot of chocolate biscuit. haha... and 1 packet of bread.

hmm... giving biscuit alone is not enough i think, since i am doing this to glorify God's name... so i think i gonna add a notes... maybe I'll write 'Jesus loves you' or 'God bless you'.... If you have any opinion for me to make this activity better... can leave a comment...

Remember Proverbs 14:31

Problem

2010-02-07T23:29:00.004+03:00

I dont know why... but all this God things for the past 3 days in winter conference kind of make me realize a lot of stuff...

Some of you might know for the past few months i had been facing some spiritual problem that i dont know how to solve, i tried talking to pastor... but Malaysian and American... so hard for me to understand what he is trying to tell me... not because of the english, but because of the way he present it.
I end up feeling lost... dont know the things that i do is right or wrong...
because the problem is what ever i do right, is also wrong.

It is hard for me to spit this out... and i dont even know how to put it into words.
to summarize everything, i am being spiritual and faithful, just for people to see... for my mentor to be happy... but on the same time i truly love to have faith and peace with me thru Jesus.

for example after i started to take part in sharing during prayer meeting... i wanted to do my best, to touch others with the words of God, but on the same time i felt proud of my self. of cos i didnt show it out, but i can felt it in my self that i am proud when people are impress by what i shared.

Christine send me an e mail few months ago... scolded me from the first word to the last word. she said a lot of stuff... scolded a lot and corrected me a lot... i can only say one thing about the letter... everything on it, everything that she said about me... is correct.. i felt like a fake christian. from that day on i took my first step to change.

At first it was not like that... when i keep my faith to my self, it was always me and God... but when i am starting to serve...when i am starting to share the word of God with her, just want to show her how faithful i am but not for God...i was evil deep inside. all this ego and feeling proud and noble about my self is getting more and more... until one point i stop.

I stop talking about Jesus, i stop sharing in prayer meeting, i stop doing my devotion, i stop everything... not because i dont love God any more, but because i have something in me that i cant control...

Andrew came to find me today and ask me want to continue to share in prayer meeting or not... i said no... i dont want to use God for the wrong purpose anymore... let me find a way... this issue is not solved yet... Pastor Kevin Loo said serve God quietly...
not to let your left hand know what your right hand did...i think that is the best way out... i have to be humble, sorry guys.. no testimonies from me for this period of time... i wont be sharing what i do... but i will be continue doing...

时间

2010-01-27T20:47:00.003+03:00

时间就算再快，只要把握好它，它就会慢下来了。

两年多了，两年的时间不算长也不算短，可是我真的好好把握这两年的时间……
只过了两年，却觉得我们好象分离了好久好久。
是时间慢了下来吗？

第一天

2010-01-24T18:05:00.002+03:00

你不在的第一天，　我生病了……伤风，喉咙痛，咳嗽……
你不在的第一天，　我差点和人家打起架来……
你不在的第一天，　我有一种不想回家的感觉……

Life with out alarm....

2010-01-06T02:03:00.002+03:00

exam season... means study week... mean no class means no need wake up early... means no need alarm clock haha....
been posting too many quotes and didnt up date about myself.
currently i am waiting for my finals exams... for histology and anatomy...

histology will be on 15th Jan and Anatomy on 21st Jan.

As for out side... it is cold out side... snow everywhere... but i still love to go out and have fun.
Me Ronald, Khoo and Isabel went for pool on Monday... haha...
cost us around rm100 for 2 hour + it is expensive... but we had fun...

plan to go for movie the coming Saturday... but i think i am broke...

My mum and dad are going to Taiwan... for few days i think... hope i wont go broke again in that few days. last time my mum went to temple for 2 weeks... i went broke on the 2nd week and cant contact my mum for money... haha... so for all those people who dont get christmas present form me... you know why... haha.... cos i spend even the last ruble of my money buy christmas present... haha....

My nike shoe which cost me Rm500+ sudah buka mulut on the fornt part... wear half year only... can not tahan the cold and harsh environment... planning to get a new shoe... from Zara... but still waiting for winter sale. where everything will be 999rub haha... or 1999rub... anyone want to go shopping together ?

My rose is dying... i dont know why... when i bough back there were 4 of them... 2 died... left with 2...

make a few new friend from 1st year students... ying si, charmaine, and that little girl forgotten her name...
also decided to get back on some old friendship... hehe u know i know...

i just love my life.... haha....

To be a dark sky for a shooting star...

2010-01-06T00:43:00.006+03:00

a shooting star will not be notice if it is not because of the dark sky

came out with this while i was chatting with yingsi, i actually have the idea of this quote for few days but never have time to find the suitable to phrase it. well i think there were also other people who wrote the same quote
Now it is done.
come to think about it.. i always want to be a shooting star...
to be notice by other to be famous to be love,
but now i just want to be the dark sky behind the shooting star.

We always want to be number 1, but what is wrong with being number 2 ?

Life Of A Jasper

我依然爱你。

treasure the 1 second

做我女人。

不会了解

天空

生病了。

放心，我不会离开你。

我们分手吧！

心里话。

为什么？

Need You Now.

床底下的照片。

她要结婚了，雪莉要结婚了。

2005-2011年的故事 Part 9: 回忆的碎片。

2005-2011年的故事 Part 8: 今天。

To My Dearest...

Charisse Sor

半年的故事。part2

半年的故事。part1

Medical student with their MISERABLE life

3rd Year

3rd Year

问问自己。

My life....

Deeper

流浪

Church Camp 2010

没有昨天的人?

Higher Level Organism

some people i once thought was beautiful is not beautiful anymore.some thing i once thought was important is not important anymore.because there are some One more beautifulsome thing more important than what this world may offer to me...

G.O.D

The Pastor

Experience God the way He experience life.

I was talking to this little girl...

Study vs God

Matthew 19:26

26Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

Door Shout Out

Never Too Late

爱很简单

放大缩小，你的选择。

Its a blessing

我

Do more for Jesus...

Good Friend

LOVE 2

一天后

这样有什么不好？

5 loaves of bread and 2 fish (9/5/2010)

Life

The Armour of God

Planted in the house of the Lord (2nd May 2010)

I dont know what to do.

Feeling...

searching

Happy Birthday

To Beatrice Foong

鯨魚女孩‧池塘男孩

鯨魚女孩‧池塘男孩

Give life a second chance.....

Some advice

God gives you just enough time to do His Will.If you always feel behind,you're trying to do more than he intended.

The purpose of marriage is to make you holy, not happy. Happiness is a byproduct, not an end in itself.

3 things to do in a day....

I have...

7 thing i want to learn in the month of April

春天终于来了

What!!!!

We never want to go beyond what we used to.

我

能解决的是就不要拿来烦恼，生活开心就好

Death

伤害

T.T

♬ ♫ ♪Top Of The World♬ ♫ ♪

chinaheart mercy

Come and join....

同一个

我不再是我了

2005-2011年的故事　Part 9: 回忆的碎片。

2005-2011年的故事　Part 8: 今天。

some people i once thought was beautiful is not beautiful anymore.
some thing i once thought was important is not important anymore.
because there are some One more beautiful
some thing more important than what this world may offer to me...

²⁶Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."