And a 'friend' left me behind....

i posted some thing about me wanting a true friend here... the post title is LOST MY APPETITE http://jasperseng.blogspot.com/2009/11/lost-my-appetite.html

very funny part is...
one person came into my room and talk to me about that.
i dont remember what is the conversation about...
but i do remember clearly that he said...

"you wrote in your blog that you dont have true friend, and now God is sending you a friend..."
some thing like that...people out there please never ever said that to me again.haha...

guest what... that same guy who came in my room and said all those...
left me alone to go home just because i missed a train and he was one train ahead of me.
when i reach the bus stop... the only thing i notice is... no one is there, he and the other friends were in the bus already.

haha... i didnt blame him for not waiting for me... but this is the different and this is why i said i need a true friend... people are different... maybe i expect too much... but some people are over my expectation haha... you know who u r... hehe... miss you all...

And you call this to be the light and salt of the world?

i wrote this blog.. i bang people... den i delete it... so too bad if u didnt get to read it haha...

Becareful...

be careful when you are sharing about "Tithing"

I found a card in my bible... with a big word "TITHING" written there.
and below the big word is...

Test me in this, " says the LORD Almighty, " and see if i will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. (Malachi 3:10)

dont seem to have anything wrong rite?
but now open your bible to Malachi 3:10...
and read the whole Malachi 3:10

it says...

Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this, " says the LORD Almighty, " and see if i will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. (Malachi 3:10)

so... where should our tithe go to ?
to and only to the storehouse of God's house so that there may be food.
and where is God's house ? i think you all know.

Lost my appetite

lost my appetite to eat...
posted "emo is over" in facebook...
but some how, i still cant cheer up.

i fried rice... ate it and almost vomit...
not because it is not nice, but dont know why...
but some how i finish it with the vomiting feeling
because i dont want to waste food.

some how i want to express this out in my blog,
i want to find a true friend with me,
the kind of friend that will stay with me thru my up and down,
the kind of friend that i am comfortable walking around with.
i know i am the kind of people that is very hard to be understand.
but a few people manage to tear down the boundaries i put and forcefully put them self into my life. haha...
My friends from UCSI, my friends from GEPC, my squash kaki...
but here....
what i have... ?
I have a church that i dont have true friend there,
i have a hostel that i dont know where i can go to when i walk out of my room except for the main exit.
People seems to be cold... i know i am cold too... that's y i am looking for fire to melt my self.
But i can only find ice cold here.
seriously, there were times that i fell like i need to meet some one, but the moment i step out of my room...
i dont know where i can go and who i can meet...
end up going back into my room again.

haha...
haha...
haha...
what's so funny... i dont know... just being emo a bit.

旅行

冬天的假期就快要到了，大家都开始计划了。

尽量找最便宜的航空公司，最便宜又好住的酒店，去自己最想去的地方。
每当谈到这个话题，我都会一句话都不说，静静的做我的东西。
每当大家谈到这个话题，我都会想到要自己一个人呆在宿舍的两个星期。
朋友常问我为什么不要去，我只能说没有钱。
其实我是真的没有钱吗？
不是。
我是有钱可以去旅行，可是看在我教堂现在的情况，我觉得那一笔钱收起来给教堂好了。

她有了他。

这一篇BLOG我要写给一位女孩。
她曾经每一个礼拜陪我在公园吃ROCKY，
有时还谈谈心事，喝汽水，吃零食……赏月，数星星。

可是现在她是别人的啦。
她曾经陪我到A&W吃午餐，我曾经在早上打电话给她，听她刚睡醒性感的声音。
可是现在她是别人的啦。

她不是我的初恋，她也不是我的前女友，她只是一位会听我讲心事的朋友。
哈哈……有没有吓坏你们？

好啦我们让主角出面啦。
她叫ZILY。
同样也是有写BLOG的。
可能以后她的BLOG不会再有那些EMO的文章哈哈。

在我离开马来西亚来到莫斯科读书前，
我们坐在公园的喷水池吃草莓ROCKEY，
一年后，我回马来西亚，
一样的，我们还是会坐在公园里吃草莓ROCKEY。
没想到回来莫斯科两个月后，她有了他。

现在，我可以找谁陪我坐在公园里吃草莓ROCKEY？哈哈

ZILY，
真的为你感到高兴，真心的在这里祝福你。
希望你找到了会陪你走到最后的他。

After 1 month...

Almost 1 month i didnt post anything here...
cos no mood to post anything also...
some times emo also lazy to post... haha
will sit beside the window and just look at the nice view and bye bye emo...

nothing much about me actually...
frankly speaking... i stop going to church for 2 weeks d...
people might be wondering why...
i know this is not right...
but some how i do feel that not going is better than going...
i have my own issue to face... my own struggle that i cant share it here.

exam... exam was fine...
fail once or twice... but other subject was ok...

life... I got a whole room for my self...
i rearrange my room and it looks bigger... haha...
i love my room very much.. especially with the view haha...

hmm... kind of emo lately... just a bit... maybe due to over stressed
and tired...

2nd year of my medical school life... very stressed... very exciting... very unpredictable...

WOW

wow

what is God's purpose

Some times i do wonder why is God doing all this to me.
Frankly saying... things around me keep changing.
I go from school to school, university to university, state to state and country to country.
every time only leaving behind memories of the past.
i can never grab hold of my life.

Come to think about it. Maybe God's purpose for my life is not to stay in one place. I do have a dream of planting churches in various places. I do have a dream of traveling around the globe to help people. And i do realize that this may need changing of my location all the time.
I treasure my friends a lot, but frankly saying... You all maybe my close friend for now, in another few years you may not be able to see me around any more. and i may not even come across you mind once a year.
We may msn we may facebook, but the feeling will never be the same again.

Well, that is how i grow up and i think i am getting use to it.

Grow Up

"Before you can grow up,you must fall in love 3 times…

Once you must fall in love with your best friend,
ruining your friendship forever.
This will teach you who your true friends are,
and the fine line between friendship and more.

Once you must fall in love with someone
you believe to be perfect.
You will learn that no one is perfect,
and that you should never be treated
as any less than you deserve.

And once you must fall in love with someone
that is exactly like you.
This will teach you about who you are,
and who you want to be.

And when you’re through with all that,
you learn that the people who care about you the most
are the ones that you hurt,
and the ones that hurt you are the ones that
you needed the most.

But most of all,
you learn that love is only a concept
and is not something that can be defined,
it is different to each person that experiences it.
And you will learn to respect each and every person on this earth,
knowing that everyone only wants to be loved"

Reaching the maximum level

Reaching the maximum level of stress...

Psalm 23 for GEPC students

Psalm 23 for GEPC students

The Lord is my Lecturer; I will not fail.

He gives me strength and wisdom to study;

He lets me sleep in peace and confidence.

He refreshes my mind and leads me to study the right chapters;

To excel for His Name’s sake.

Yes, though I walk through the corridor of my exam hall;

I will fear no Dr (whoever you fear); for God is with me, who shall be against me;

I know God will protect and support me.

You prepare the red carpet and flowers for my graduation;

You anoint me in my days in (your college), I will pass with flying colours.

Surely as long as I seek You, I will be successful and blessed;

And I will graduate from (your college) in (how many) years time.

Wind of change

I can feel it... i can feel the wind of change blowing...

When Every One Dont Seem To Care.

First of all... this post is not to praise my self... but to make people realize that they might be doing the same thing.

Ok...
i will introduce the character first...
A is my female friend
B is the other female friend
and C is a male friend.
and Jasper is me la~~~

Normally... ME A B and C will go class together...
We walk from our hostel to the bus stop...
then we take train to where our class is situated...
this is our daily routine...

After weeks i started to realize that Me and C are closer to B
so normally when we walk to the bus stop me and C will be talking with B
And A will either walk alone in front or at the back.
and A are always being left out when we are in the train,
most of the time she is alone.

Last week i realize that what i did is totally not good,
well four of us are christian so we are brother and sister in Christ.
But from what I am doing i think i am not a good brother to A.
I think when i die, God will ask me "Did you remember A?"
and God will tell me all the thing that i suppose to do but i didnt do to A.

Beside that, I always help B when she needs any help form small to big i will always be willing to help, but when i think back did i help A in any way?
the answer is NO... every time is because of B told me to then only i help A.
I never take the initiative to get to know what help does A needs.

I found out that i have put my focus on B too much that i totally ignore A presence with us.
and that is not the kind of christian that God want us to be.
God ask us to love all our brothers and sisters.

I decided to change!!
so this morning I purposely walk with A and when we are in the train i purposely accompany A,
well... one thing for sure she is not a bad person to talk to too... haha...
and guess what hehe... when we came back from class.
A called me and said there is a bee in her room...
so i went over to catch the bee for her...
and before that i bought a candy that she wanted to try for her...

Just want to remind all of us that some times we will tend to ignore some one even if we are in a group... And God wont be happy if we treat one of our sister unfair or not treating her well...
So friends.. change your attitude towards people.
---------------------------------------------

Ok that is the end of my experience with her.
Now lets talk about my experience with God.
As today i take the initiative to spend more time with A...
God send me a msg thru OUR DAILY BREAD email...

“When I stand before my Lord,
I hope He’ll say of me that I’ve loved too many,
rather than too few.”

this was the things written there...
and of course God is telling me to carry on...

well it is a one of a kind experience to know that God is really watching you haha...

I did it!!!!

to see what other don't notice, to feel what other don't care, to do what other don't do.

notice the motto i wrote under my blog title...
after so long of writing it...
finally i fulfill it...

I had see what other don't notice
feel what other don't care
and do what other don't do...

proud of my self... Glory to God